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Jul. 10th, 2012


The Name Game


Tell us about two times someone has spelled or pronounced your name wrong

And, because we're none of us perfect, tell us about:

Two times you have made a horrible botch of a name."

The bar was loud, but then again it was a Friday night and the banking crowd had just come rolling in. It wasn't the first time that Josh Holloway had found himself seated at this bar and he doubted it would be the last. The fingers of his large hand were wrapped around the glass of amber coloured bourbon, tilting it towards him so that he could stare at the ice cubes clinking at the bottom. He didn't know what the hell he was doing here. His friends had said that he should get out more, that he deserved to be happy but Josh wasn't sure what the hell that meant in his world any more. What he did know was that he wanted something to take the edge off. He was sick of being lonely and he was growing increasingly frustrated.

He didn't know what the hell Grace was doing and he tried to convince himself that he didn't care. She had come back into his life like a tornado, tearing up every single thing that he knew. Before he knew it she was gone all over again leaving nothing but a 'sorry' and some excuse about how she loved the rat bastard that was beating on her. He didn't understand that.

“Can I buy you another?” that sweet musical voice chimed.

Her familiar smoky perfume was in his nostrils as he tilted his head in her general direction.

“What are you doing here Grace?” Josh asked, twisting his stool towards her.

Jesus, it was like she hadn't even left, she still looked as good as she had this morning when she had torn his heart out. Her silky, dark hair fell across her ivory features shielding her expression from his enquiring gaze.

“My name's not Grace.” she informed him. “It's Sara and we're just two strangers who are trying to drown their sorrows at the same bar.”

“Grace.” Josh asserted, shaking his head with a pained look on his handsome features. “I don't want to play this stupid game.”

“It's Sara.” Grace persisted. “If you want to know the story you've got to play the game.”

The words struck a cord deep inside of Josh and he remembered a time when they were much younger when they had been laying in the back garden of her Nana's house staring up at the stars in the night time sky. They had started playing a game if you were someone else, anywhere else who would you be. He remembered Grace had said that it would never get that bad, why would she want to be anybody else?

“The story?” Josh questioned, his blond eyebrows furrowing in irritation. “Grace, I thought there was a pretty simple reason you went back to that son of a bitch.”

“Call me Sara and I'll tell you the rest of the story.” Grace responded once more, her fingers clasped together as if in prayer.

Josh needed to know the reason she had left. He needed to know what power Will Hamlin held over her, he didn't understand what could have drawn her back into that world of violence.

“Ok Sara.” Josh gave in. “Tell me your story.”

Jul. 9th, 2012


The Long Way Home - Chapter One: Regret

Chapter One: Regret

It was raining when Joshua Holloway awoke. He could hear the pitter patter of rain against the window as he lay there in the foggy silence of his bedroom. The white gauzy curtains were bellowing in the breeze as it brushed over his searing hot skin. The sheen of sweat coated his near naked body, causing the sheets to cling to his muscular flesh as he struggled to kick the twisted linen away from his aching leg.

The pain was excruciating, Josh could feel the agony pulsating through his skin as he altered his pillows, propping himself up against the polished, mahogany headboard. He tilted his head back grinding his teeth against the constant throbbing. Some days the torment felt worse than the actual accident that had led to his disability. His trembling fingers delved underneath the sheets that pooled around his waist. He placed his hand upon his thigh, his fingers digging into the flesh in an attempt to massage the cramping muscles.

Cold weather always affected him this way. The temperatures had dropped as of late as summer had given way to fall. His heart was racing, Joshua could feel it pounding against his ribcage as the sound of his own rampant panting filled the air. The tightening in his chest was beginning to ease off allowing the bursts of pure oxygen to enter his lungs. The panic was still lancing through him, ricochetting around his skull as he struggled to get a grasp upon his rampaging emotions.

His mind was an entanglement of images and sounds that he struggled constantly to keep under control. The sound of screeching metal was echoing in his ears as he closed his vivid blue eyes against the darkness that was seeping through his soul. It was inside of him the same way it had always had been since the accident. In the early days it had been oppressive but now he thanked God that it was becoming more manageable.

During the day Joshua could control his thoughts, he could bury the memories and the heartache in the throes of work. It took immense mental restraint to live his life the way he did, his disability had the potential to be debilitating if he allowed it. There were days when he would have given anything to have changed his mind on joining the Marines in order to gain the financing for medical school but now he knew that was pointless. There was nothing he could change about his situation so what was the point in contemplating a different future.

His friends agreed with that line of thinking. He had spent such a long time trying to push those people away but they were resilient and strong. They had refused to back off when he insisted and in the end he had come to appreciate their pushiness. Without his surrogate family he would have crashed and burned a long time ago.

Hell, the nights alone were bad enough. It had been a long time since there had been a partner in his life and it wasn't that he didn't wish there was someone solid to hold onto it was just that it was unfair for the other person. Ella had been right when she had walked out, asking someone to engage in a relationship with him was selfish. There was too much trauma in his soul to share with anybody else, she had called him broken and he thought she was correct. How could he expect anyone to love someone who couldn't be whole a person anymore?

The nightmares were still bad but they were getting better. He thought that he had made good headway with setting some stable foundations. He had created a home here in the Village, he had a job and he had a support network of people he cared about. Things were steady in his life. The routine helped him get through the worst days but there was still something missing. He could feel it's absence like the faintest of ghosts residing in the very depths of his soul.

That was just one of the things that haunted Joshua, he had let something so precious slip between his fingers not so long ago and now it was gone. He had lost another shard of himself at that point because he hadn't had the guts to push himself to tell the truth to someone he loved.

Josh reached up, brushing the golden blond hair that was plastered to his forehead away from his eyes with his fingertips. His heart rate was beginning to return to normal now. He could feel the steady thrum of his pulse beginning to regulate as he allowed himself to take a long, deep breath in an attempt to steady his nerves.

His large hand came to rest upon the cool linen sheets on the right side of his bed, he found himself staring at the empty pillow, his heart heavy once more. He was being ridiculous, he was aware of that but it still hurt like a bitch when he looked at the vacant space. It was just another failure on his part, one that was maybe for the best.

There was a shuffling on the opposite side of the room and Joshua found himself smiling for the first time that night before he flicked on the cream coloured lamp that was resting upon the matching mahogany night stand.

Bertie was already trotting across the rich coloured laminate floor from the baby blue dog basket that was situated in the corner of the room. The sound of his nails clicking against the wood as he approached the bed echoed through the medium sized area. The beagle's white tail was already wagging as he sat alongside the night stand, tilting his head up at his owner, his dark soulful eyes looking woefully at the empty side of the bed.

“I know bud, I miss her too.” Joshua said in his husky, tired voice as he picked up the young dog and placed it in the devoid space.

Bertie lay down upon his stomach, his little tail still wagging from side to side as he let out a wide doggie yawn before placing his head between his small paws. Joshua scratched the space between Bertie's ears.

The beagle had been a savour from the very beginning of their relationship. The moment his paws had been set down on the laminate before he launched himself at Joshua's shins yipping in greeting.

The puppy had become a focus that he hadn't had in his life at the time and Joshua had spent months training the puppy how to act in the house. After that he hadn't been spending any time alone. Bertie was always there when he needed the comfort that he wasn't able to ask for from another human being.

Bertie was snuggled up against Joshua's hip now, the dog's chin came to rest upon his right knee as his warm body generated the soothing sensation that he longed for. It also helped that the dog didn't mind that sometimes Josh Holloway had to sleep with the light on.


MapleBacon Cupcakes

I have honestly never thought that this could be a delicious possibility but after someone in 'bakebakebake' posted up a recipe I thought why not give it a shot and these were the results!



They are so feraking yummy!

Monday Romance

Let's talk about LOOOOVE! Specifically, the romantic kind, although there are of course many different ways to love somebody.

Answer the following questions in as great a detail as you want~

1) Are there any romances in your story/canon/fanon/universe? [If the answer is none, go to question 4]

Yep, there are several different types of romance in the story. We have the dark possessive kind of love and a more purer soulmate kind of love.

2) How central are these romances to the story in terms of plot?

Both romances are central to the story. The reason Grace left was because of an awful relationship and the reason she turned to Josh was because the two of them have always had a strong and deep connection.

3) How important are these romances to the characters themselves?

The connection between Josh and Grace means everything in the world to them. They grew up together as children and they have seen each other through some tough times. If they could get rid of Will they would. He stands between their desire to be together.

4) Do you like 'romantic plotlines' in the fiction you enjoy, even if the genre itself may not be specifically romantic?

I do enjoy romantic plot lines, I feel like it adds an extra bit of something to the drama. I think everything is more believable if you put love into the mix.

5) Do you feel love stories between characters are used too much, not enough, or just right in the stories you enjoy most?

I think a lot of the time the stories I read are just right hence why I choose to read them.

Jul. 8th, 2012


Between Two Evils


Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before: - Mae West

In Grace's experience evil came in many forms. Throughout her years she had seen enough of them to know that sometimes things weren't as black and white as you wished them to be. The beginnings of her life had been etched in grey, her father had run out on her before she was born and her mother had turned into an alcoholic somewhere before Grace's fourth birthday. She didn't remember why that had happened all that she did know was that growing up had been tough, tougher than it should have been for a little girl. She had survived, that was the important part. Josh had always said that about her. She was the type of person who could come through anything and she clung to that thought like the security of a baby blanket. She needed his strength right now because she couldn't do this on her own.

Grace had suffered through violence before. As a child she had ended up in the emergency room far too many times before her Nana had realized what was going on and whisked her away. Now she was in a similar situation again and there was no one who could step in and rescue her. She had to do this herself. The only problem was that she had one place to go if she left Will and that would be unleashing a whole lot of evil in itself. She hadn't seen Josh since that awful night when she had left. She would be opening Pandora's box by turning up at his place and the possibility of unleashing those torrid feelings all over again frightened her almost as much as Will did.

Grace tried to reason that her and Josh were different people now, maybe they were adult and in turn more forgiving. The truth was she had endured Will's violence for far too long and she knew that if she stayed the likelihood was that she would end up dead.

In the face of these two evils, there was only one way to turn and that was the one that contained Pandora's Box.



Weekend Catch Up

Friday Summer List

5 Things Done This Summer


  1. Begun writing a paper for a medical journal.

  2. Spent millions of hours in the library researching for said paper.

  3. Begun watching Firefly again.

  4. Playing Arkam Asylum.

  5. Started trying to learn Japanese.

4 Foods You've Enjoyed

  1. Sushi

  2. Lasagne

  3. Oreos

  4. Fruit Smoothies

3 Places You've Visited

  1. The Hospital

  2. Central Park

  3. Staten Island

2 Times You've Been Far Too Hot

  1. That awkward moment Grace stepped out of my shower wearing nothing but a towel.

  2. Playing basketball with the guys.

1 Way You Like To Cool Off

  1. A glass of ice cold water with ice cubes.


City Of Lost Souls

The City of Lost Souls

From the very last chapter of 'City of Fallen Angels' I was on tenderhooks, it was a major cliffie and I was dying to sink my teeth into this book and it didn't disappoint.

The first part of the book was everyone struggling to understand what happened to Jace and what was happening to him. I loved seeing everyone's reactions and they were all spot on and in char. We saw how everyone was progressing from the final chapters fro the last books and I wanted to scream at Alec's actions. I mean seriously by the end of the book what did he expect to happen?

I adore how Simon and Isabelle's relationship developed, especially when it comes so abundantly clear how much they need one another. Isabelle is so independent, we can understand how it is such a struggle for her to let herself go. Also loved Simon and his persona, he was such a dull char at the beginning of the series but he has been developed so well throughout the past two books.

I love the way everything is tied together and the way it plays out over the course of the novels. It's such an awesome and complex series and that's what I adore about Cassandra Clare's writing.

Clary was her usual self and that's what I love about her char, her and Jace can survive anything. We know it but the problem is we can't see how they were going to survive this. The book had so many wonderful twists and turns and in the end I was devastated when I finished it. All though some issues were left for the next book and I sincerely hope it comes out soon.

Jul. 7th, 2012



So just giving you guys a run down on my Friday.

I had two job interviews both in completely different area codes so I was keeping my fingers crossed I could get back in time to attend the second one. I took the day off from puppy-sitting to attend them. Also this is the first time I have had to style my new pixie hair cut and to be fair I am not the greatest person at being a girl. I have grown up with five brothers and am a tad tomboyish. That does not mean I look like a man. (just to clarify.)

The day started off the only way a day like this could. It was pouring down with rain and I don't mean drizzle, I mean literal torrential rain. To get to the first job interview I had to make three changes and get three different trains. By the time I made it to the end station my trousers were soaked and sticking to me. Thankfully they were black so that noone could see the wet.

When I reached the place we were forced to wait for over fifteen minutes in the most awkward silence of my whole entire life. To be fair the reception area was beautiful, it had stunning charcoal grey coloured marble floors and was very minimalist.

Once we got into the interview (which was a group interview with 11 other people.) All I can tell you is, that it was an hour and half of something I can only describe as daunting and cerebral. The woman who ran it was frightfully assertive (a little like a military drill instructor) she instructed us to tell the group about our selves. Afterwards we had to write down information we could remember from the previous people's disclosures. Then because for some reason their tills do not work out change, she gave us quick fire maths calculations which gave us literally two seconds to work out the answer. (which was really hard) Then at the end of this whole thing, she didn't say goodbye or anything she just got up and left the room.

Thankfully I made a friend and she gave me a lift to the train station preventing me from having to trudge 28 mins in the torrential rain. (I was so ridiculously thankful)

By the time I made it to my second train I realized there was no time to go home so I may as well kill fifteen mins in the comic book shop before attending my second interview. As always when I step inside that store I can not help but spent money (even though I really shouldn't) I came out with three Manga books and two comics!

I got to my interview in the bar of a gorgeous hotel and the people were so lovely. I got on really well with them and we had a laugh. In the end they gave me two free tickets to ride the Big Wheel in Liverpool. Unfortunately I hate Ferris Wheels, like severely hate them so I am giving the tickets away to my bro and his gf for a date.

Anyway on the way home I got completely soaked, the torrential rain got worse and even my hooded coat couldn't protect me. Of course on the way home, there was rail replacement drama but thankfully I managed to get home. By that time I was beyond soaked, like even my underwear was soaked. I changed into my jammies and spent the rest of the day reading comics!

I found out a few hours later that I didn't get the first job (which I was kinda thankful for because it was a little scary.) The second job I will find out about next week so Yay!


Jul. 5th, 2012




Will had never suspected that Grace Sullivan was a traitor. She had ripped out his trust and stamped on it with those dainty little boots of hers, grinding it until it was dust underneath her sole. If he was honest he had always thought he would be the one to leave. He had always imagined that one day he would simply get bored of her and then that would be it, he'd cast her back out into the sea and hook himself an even prettier fish. Instead the conniving little bitch had packed a bag while he was out of the city on business and disappeared into thin air.

The moment he realized she wasn't returning his calls he had stormed over to her apartment in a haze of fury. He had felt that indignant rage flaring up inside of him as he used his spare key to let himself in. If she had been there he would have beaten her bloody, he deserved better than to be kept waiting and she knew that. Her apartment was exactly the same as it had been since before he'd left for San Francisco. It hadn't taken him long to deduce her duffle bag was missing, where ever she went that musty old thing with the sewn on rock band patches went with her. He didn't know the significance of them and he had never cared unless it was to tell her that the ridiculous thing wasn't allowed in his apartment. He had bought her a Louis Vaton overnight bag for when she stayed over , he thought that buying her something designer would give her more class and in turn make her more appreciative.

The fact it was strewn across the bottom of her closet like it was a worthless piece of trash had made him see red. The venomous rage directed at his girlfriend had boiled over and he had begun hitting everything within sight in order to gain a sense of release from his savage emotions. Trashing her apartment hadn't worked to soothe his violent temper and he knew the only thing that would would be the stinging connection of skin on skin contact when he slapped Grace in across the face for her disobedience. He felt powerful when he hit her. Seeing that terror in those wide grey eyes did something for him that sex never could. Breaking down her will power had become a game for him during the course of their relationship, it was her defiance and independence that and drawn him to her in the first place. Will had needed the challenge after all the stupid, weak bimbos he had cowed.

Her ferocity had burned like the brightest candle in the darkness, she was what he needed to flavour his world. Now Grace had taken his game to a new level. Nobody had ever dared to leave him before and Will Hamlin thought it was time that she learned exactly what he did to traitors.

Jul. 4th, 2012




Independence wasn't a new thing for Josh Holloway. As a child he had been forced to fend for himself due to the nature of his parents, they were selfish people and their world had never really included him. He was an infringement on their lives, an accident they hadn't been able to correct because their church frowned upon abortion. The other kids had thought he was privileged but the truth was as a child he had practically been abandoned. He thought that's where his problems came from, he had found it hard to trust for such a long time that was until Grace came along.

To a lonely eight year old boy, she had been a blessing once she broke through his emotional barriers. The two of them had been as thick as thieves in their early days. Josh found he looked back upon those memories more fondly than any of the time he had ever spent with his family. As they grew up she was the only constant in his life, their friendship had developed into a relationship that Josh thought rivalled even the greatest of loves.

Yet there had been something missing. There was a piece of himself that never quite fit into place and when his father had started leaving out applications for colleges like Stanford and Princeton on his desk he realized what it was. His parents wanted him to study Law like his father. Image was important to them and as far as they were concerned that was Josh's only way forward if he wanted to become anything worth while.

However for the longest time imaginable he had wanted to become a doctor. He wanted to be the type of man to help people, that made a difference in other people's lives for the better. His parents had refused his request and he had turned up at Grace's with furious, frustrated tears in his eyes

It had been Grace who had suggested the Marines. The possibility of learning and serving his country appealed to Josh and he knew that suggestion was the missing piece he needed to complete the puzzle.

The night he told his parents was the night that they disowned him, it was also the night that Josh Holloway finally gained his independence.

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